Witchy Woman

This commercial has been playing constantly for the past few months, and it drives me up a wall.

1. She ignores her friends with whom she’s having coffee to preen for a stranger.

     Woman: “That’s a nice argument for deficit spending, but…  Ooh, man!  Drop everything!”

     Woman’s Friend: “But what about your career?”

     Woman: “BLASPHEMER!”

2.  Her solution for getting his attention is by having blindingly white teeth,  instead of, oh I dunno, perhaps saying, “Hello”?

    Woman’s Friend: “Why don’t you offer to buy him a coffee?”

    Woman: “Because he might think I’m a slattern who can fend for herself?  Who would want to marry someone like that?”

3.  Who would want to date, let alone marry, someone who’s so shallow that they judge you based on the colour of your bone structure?

      Man’s friend: “Why don’t you go say ‘hi’?”

      Man: “Ew, no.  Have you seen the colour of her teeth?  I bet you don’t check the teeth before buying a horse, either.”

4.  Call me crazy, but someone who fantasizes about getting married and having children before even knowing my name would result in a perfect cut-out silhouette of my body in the nearest wall, leaving only a puff of smoke behind me.

     Woman’s Friend: “Why don’t you try seeing if you anything in common first?  Like maybe attraction to the opposite gender?”

     Woman: “Nonsense.  My teeth shine brightly enough to turn anyone straight!”