How to Love Someone With Depression

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Try to imagine that depression is like being in a dark tunnel. The person with depression can’t see a thing, because everything is surrounded by darkness. Every sound is amplified, every fear is magnified. All they want to do is get out of the tunnel, but they can’t see where to go, they don’t know what to do. Your natural reaction is to lead them out of this dark tunnel, back to the light.

This is the WRONG approach.
Many men are “fixers,” and my husband is.  He is gradually learning that he can’t “fix” my depression, it’s an ongoing process that will never have a strictly linear progression.

Mood Disorders

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Mood disorders are more than a "bad day," and telling someone who suffers from them to "just snap out of it" or to "just be happy" does not help.  Would you tell someone with a broken leg that they're just "faking it for attention"?  No.  So why do we treat someone with depression any differently?  People with mood disorders lack the internal control that most people do in order to avoid extreme highs and lows, whether it's from abuse or a chemical imbalance.
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Hyperbole and a Half is Back: Depression Part Two

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Yeah, it's like that

Myths and Facts About Mental Illness

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Myth: Young people and children don’t suffer from mental illness.
Fact: It is estimated that more than 18% of young people (ages 15 – 24) in Canada may suffer from a mental health disorder that severely disrupts their ability to function at home, in school, or in their community. Suicide accounts for 24% of all deaths among 15 - 24 year olds and 16% among 25 - 44 year olds. Ninety percent of people who commit suicide have a diagnosable mental illness. The mortality rate due to suicide among men is four times the rate among women.
Fun fact: my own depression presented between 12 and 13 years of age.

Myth: Mentally ill persons are dangerous.
Fact: The vast majority of people with mental illnesses are not violent. In fact, they are more often victims of violence rather than perpetrators of violence. In the cases where violence does occur, the incidence typically results from the same reasons as with the general public such as feeling threatened or excessive use of alcohol and/or drugs.

Myth: People with mental illness can work low-level jobs but aren’t suited for really important or responsible positions.
Fact: People with mental illness, like everyone else, have the potential to work at any level depending on their own abilities, experience and motivation.

Myth: A person who has had a mental illness can never be “normal.”
Fact: People with mental illnesses can and do recover and resume normal activities. The vast majority recover.

Types of Mental Illness

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Mood disorders – involve changes and disruptions in a person’s mood and emotions. Depression and bipolar disorder are examples of mood disorders.

Anxiety disorders – are the most common type of mental disorder. They cause people to be overly anxious and afraid of situations or events that most people consider normal. Panic disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder are anxiety disorders.

Schizophrenia – involves people losing the ability to know what’s real and what isn’t (this feature is called psychosis). Schizophrenia also makes it difficult for people to think, speak and interact in an organized way. Psychosis is not just a part of schizophrenia, but may also be seen on its own, or with other disorders like mood disorders.

Eating disorders – involve a distorted body image along with serious behaviours to manage food and weight, making it difficult to nourish oneself properly. Eating disorders can be life-threatening. Examples of eating disorders include anorexia and bulimia.

Personality disorders – affect the way a person acts, feels and gets along with other people. They can also cause people to be more impulsive.  Borderline personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder are examples of personality disorder.

Substance use disorders (commonly called addictions) – occur when a person becomes dependent on a substance such as alcohol, tobacco or other drugs.

Dementia – involves the loss of brain cells and results in loss of memory, judgment and reasoning, along with changes in mood, behaviour and communication abilities (beyond what might be seen in normal aging).  Alzheimer’s disease is the most common form of dementia.

Attention deficit (hyperactivity) disorder (ADD or ADHD) – can be diagnosed in adults but is usually found in children and youth and affects their ability to focus their attention. This condition may also include hyperactivity, which is when a person becomes easily over-excited.

Mental Health Fact Sheet

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Here are some holistic ways of managing your mental health.  Some of these are simply common sense.  Some of them I have tried to incorporate into my own lifestyle, and I do struggle with some of these (such as negative thoughts).

Learn ways to cope with negative thoughts
Negative thoughts can be insistent and loud. Learn to interrupt them.  Don’t try to block them (that never works), but don’t let them take over. Try distracting yourself or comforting yourself, if you can’t solve the problem right away. You might want to try focusing on an issue in a more balanced way (e.g. - try looking at all sides of an issue rather than from just one point of view).


Do one thing at a time
For example, when you are out for a walk or spending time with friends, turn off your cell phone and stop making that mental “to do” list. Take in all the sights, sounds and smells you encounter.

Exercise
Regular physical activity improves psychological well-being and can reduce depression and anxiety. Joining an exercise group or a gym can also reduce loneliness, since it connects you with a new set of people sharing a common goal.

Enjoy hobbies
Taking up a hobby brings balance to your life by allowing you to do something you enjoy because you want to do it, free of the pressure of everyday tasks. It also keeps your brain active.

“Collect” positive emotional moments
Make it a point to recall times when you have experienced pleasure, comfort, tenderness, confidence, or other positive emotions.

Set personal goals
Goals don’t have to be ambitious.  You might decide to finish that book you started three years ago; to take a walk around the block every day; to learn to knit or play bridge; to call your friends instead of waiting for the phone to ring. Whatever goal you set, reaching it will build confidence and a sense of satisfaction. Writing the goal down, giving yourself a timeline, and telling others about your goals can all increase your chances of success.

Do new things/challenge yourself
Challenging yourself can help to increase your motivation and to set personal goals.
Keep a journal (or talk regularly to loved ones!)

Expressing yourself after a stressful day can help you gain perspective, release tension and even boost your body’s resistance to illness.

Share humour
Life often gets too serious, so when you hear or see something that makes you smile or laugh, share it with someone you know. A little humour can go a long way to keeping us mentally fit!

Volunteer
Volunteering is called the “win-win” activity because helping others makes us feel good about ourselves. At the same time, it widens our social network, provides us with new learning experiences and can bring balance to our lives.

Treat yourself well
Cook yourself a good meal. Have a bubble bath. See a movie. Call a friend or relative you haven’t talked to in ages. Sit on a park bench and breathe in the fragrance of flowers and grass. Whatever it is, do it just for you.

Ask for help
Learning to set boundaries and say no is a very important skill for mental health as is asking for help. In addition to help from family and friends and mental health services, you may find that some of your problems can be solved with help from community agencies. Sometimes, practical help such as home nursing care, Meals On Wheels or subsidized door-to-door transportation for people unable to walk, will greatly reduce the stress in your life.

How You Can Learn More
Many communities have information centres that produce lists of available services, which you can view at social service agencies or public libraries. Other possible sources of information include:
• books about your problems, available at your public library or local bookstore
• films, videos and audio tapes
• courses and workshops offered through community centres, secondary schools, colleges and universities
• other people you admire for their ability to find balance
Learn more by visiting www.MentalHealthWeek.ca

Mental Health Week May 6-12

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Mental Health Week is a designated week created by The Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) to talk, reflect, engage and celebrate mental health for all. The theme of Mental Health For All represents the right of every Canadian to enjoy and have the best possible mental health. It’s this attitude that represents ways in which all Canadians can actively protect and preserve their mental health at home, work and in their own community.

Inmate Abuse in Portland, ME

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Over the weekend the Portland Press Herald reported on and released a video of Capt. Shawn Welch at the Maine Correction Center pepper-spraying a restrained inmate in the face and leaving him in distress for more than twenty minutes while he repeatedly pleaded that he could not breath. The inmate was reportedly recovering from a self-inflicted wound and on several medications for bipolar disorder and depression at the time when officers in protective gear placed him in a restraining chair for medical personnel to examine his wounds.
After he was physically restrained in the chair, he struggled as guards pinned his head under an arm, at which point Welch used a pepper spray canister intended for multiple subjects at a 18 to 20 feet range to spray the inmate in the face at close range. Welch was initially fired by the institution’s supervisor, but reinstated with a 30-day suspension by Maine Corrections Commissioner Joseph Ponte.
ThinkProgress
It gets worse.  The concern of officials is more on how the video got out, than of the treatment of a wounded, mentally ill inmate.
"Your possession of that indicates a breach of security on our part and we absolutely do need to look into that," said Associate Commissioner Jody Breton. "We certainly will be tightening up security -- where (information) is stored, who has access."
According to them, their concern isn't because it shows the callous treatment, but rather because it reveals sensitive information about the inmate.  Ok, I get that the inmate deserves privacy, but since the inquiry did not resolve nor punish those responsible, I think that the citizens deserve to know and to act upon this knowledge. 

Why Mental Health Concerns Everyone

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Most of us have heard the terms mental illness or mental disorder or psychiatric condition. These terms are used to describe a wide range of different conditions but what they have in common is that they all affect a person’s emotions, thoughts and behaviours — how they see themselves, see the world around them, and how they interact in that world.  The key difference from “having a bad day or week” is both the duration and magnitude of the impacts on your life.

There are many different kinds of mental disorders.  One in five Canadians, over the course of their lives, will experience a mental illness and what that ultimately means is that every single family in Canada will in some way be affected. There is nobody in Canada who can stand up and say, “Not my family, not my aunts or uncles or cousins or grandparents, children, siblings, spouse or self.”

And yet the reluctance to talk about mental illness, to acknowledge it openly, to treat it as a form of human suffering like any other illness, relates in part to how threatening this set of illnesses is to our sense of who we are. Mental illness cuts across all age, racial, religious, or socio-economic categories.

The World Health Organization (WHO) predicts that by the year 2020 depression will become the No. 2 cause worldwide of years lost due to disability. That’s a profound impact.

The number of suicides in Canada is almost 4,000 people a year. For people aged 15 to 24 in Canada, suicide is the No. 2 cause of death.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO) mental illness is the number one leading cause of disability in the world and five of the 10 leading causes of disability are related to mental disorders.

Mental illness costs the Canadian economy a staggering $51-billion a year, and each day 500,000 people will miss work due to mental health problems.

Each year employers and insurers spend a whopping $8.5 billion on long-term disability claims related to mental illness.

Mental illness is the number one cause of disability in Canada, accounting for nearly 30% of disability claims and 70% of total costs. Mental health disorders in the workplace cost Canadian companies nearly 14% of their net annual profits and up to $16 billion annually.

The unemployment rate among people with serious mental illness is 70 - 90%. There is a 60% drop in family income when a breadwinner is diagnosed with mental illness.

Ten ways to create a mentally healthy workplace

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Maintaining a healthy office environment involves more than simply providing benefits and fitness programs. The emotional well-being of your employees is just as important. Here are ten suggestions to help create a mentally healthy workplace:
1.  Be Proactive
Don’t sit back and wait for problems to come to you. Consider all the things that make your workplace what it is. Examine culture, norms, policies and expectations to find out what you can change to create an environment that’s conducive to promoting mental health.

2. Make it a priority
Mental health is an issue that is often overlooked by employers but it is a very real concern, as a growing number of employees find themselves overwhelmed by the pressures of their jobs, families and finances.  In fact, mental disorders are the leading cause of disability in the U.S. and Canada for people between the ages of 15 to 44. Studies have also shown definitively that mental health disorders – including depression, anxiety, burnout, substance abuse - cost Canadian companies billions of dollars annually.

3. Be accessible
Be sure that any wellness program can be extended to all employees within your organization, regardless of location or work hours. With advancements in technology, resources such as an on-demand video training modules can provide employees and their family members with 24/7 access to expertise whenever and wherever they need it whether they are at work, at home or on the go on their mobile device.

4. Offer resources
Provide employees with credible sources of information on mental health topics. Easy-to-understand guidance can go long ways towards helping people cope. Sometimes even a five-minute audio or video segment can be enough to help employees.

5. Take a holistic view of mental health
Mental health is not just about diagnosed illnesses. It can also be about many factors that improve a person’s well being. Nutrition, fitness, and good sleep habits for example can play a key role in mental health and happiness.

6. Look beyond the workplace
Personal finances, work-life balance, parenting and elder care are all things employees need to cope with in their daily lives. When developing a wellness program, be sure to look at what resources you can offer to help them meet their personal as well as workplace challenges.

7. Break down the barriers
An employer can play an important role in reducing the stigma associated with mental illness. There are plenty of educational resources available to help employers foster a more supportive and collaborative workplace.

8. Be front and centre
Make sure management is actively involved with your mental health messaging. Let employees know you recognize and understand the challenges they face, and that your management is there to support them.  Where relevant, share personal experiences within an organization. Be sure to train all levels of management on mental health matters.

9. Watch and listen
Foster an environment where people are comfortable discussing wellness concerns; and listen to their feedback on the programs you’ve introduced. Their input is invaluable in ensuring that the supports you provide are effective.

10. Stay current
Workplace issues can shift from year to year. Make sure that any programs you develop are revisited at least annually so the content stays relevant.

Originally published in the Globe and Mail on November 7, 2011
Aimee Israel and Michael Held are the co-founders of LifeSpeak.com, a company that is dedicated to delivering information from acclaimed North American experts to workplaces to assist employees in better managing the demands of both their personal and professional lives. Visit LifeSpeak.com for more information on promoting wellness in the workplace.

Let's Talk Day

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Bell is hosting it's third annual Let's Talk Day.  On February 12, Bell will donate 5¢ more to mental health initiatives across Canada for every:
  • Text message sent
  • Long distance call made
  • Facebook share of our Bell Let's Talk image
Almost makes me wish I was on the Bell network.  However, I will be sharing resources and articles in order to promote mental health awareness over the next few weeks.

On Rudeness and Knitting in Public

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While at a recent local knit night (knight?), the perennial topic of knitting in public came up, specifically in lectures/classes.  Nearly every knitter has come up against the perception that knitting while in the presence of others is rude.  We're going to completely bypass the history of knitting, and how "women's crafts" are believed to be kept in the home.
Knitting's for pussies
People who perceive crafting in public to be rude assume that everyone else processes their experiences the same way that they do.  For example, we all know that everyone has a different learning style (i.e. visual, audial, or tactile).  Most people fall into the former two categories, and when it comes to retaining complex material I have to take written notes.  Written, not typed, in order to properly engage my visual tendencies.  If the topic is less strenuous, then knitting helps to occupy the visual and tactile parts of my brain while leaving my auditory portion to focus on the speaker.  For example, as I write this, I am also listening to The History Channel on the TV.  That is my experience as a knitter, and how my mind works.  Your mileage may vary.
If I am unable to occupy my brain on several levels, it wanders.  If I had music playing instead of America Unearthed, I would be distracted by every other thought that came through my head or jumping up every few minutes to go do some chore that occurred to me.  (While I have never been diagnosed with adult ADD, I am pretty certain that I have at least a mild case of it).  Knitting works in much the same way for me.  As long as it's not too complex a pattern, it occupies the part of my mind that wants to wander away from the task at hand.  When I first began knitting, some of my friends were offended that I brought it to Dungeons and Dragons night.  They were convinced that I wouldn't be able to fully participate and/or would distract the group.  I made the DM a deal: if my knitting became a problem, then I would stop.  Until then, let's give it a try.  The first time I came without a project, since I had just finished one, the group called a break and told me I was to get myself to the nearest craft store and pick one up.  Without my knitting, I was fidgety, drew other players out of the game with side-conversations, daydreamed, and generally unable to sit quietly and wait for my turn.  In other words, I was more distracting without my knitting than I was with it.
Sums up most conversations with me
Most of those who cast such judgment are typically not, themselves, crafters.  They find themselves distracted by the activity.  How many of us have been approached while knitting in public with questions such as "Are you knitting?" "What are you making?" "How are you doing that?" (I get this one a lot because of my tendency to knit socks two at a time on one circular) and other variations that come from a consumerist society.  Instead of possessing the willpower to focus on the speaker/main activity, they allow themselves to be distracted by the crafter.  The resulting frustration is then directed at the crafter, who was minding their own business in the first place, rather than taking responsibility for their themselves.
They forgot "No, I will not knit for you"
Now that doesn't mean you should sit front and centre and knit, as that might be distracting to the speaker/teacher/lecturer.  As long as you aren't likely to drop metal needles down a sloped floor or constantly elbow your neighbours, there is absolutely no reason you should be considered any ruder than the person who smacks their gum, plays video games on their laptop, or texts the entire time.  You know how your mind works better than anyone else.  If you will focus and learn better while keeping your hands busy, then no one else has the right to keep you from doing so.  Unless you're in a courtroom.  They tend to frown on people bringing garrotes into courthouses.
More dangerous than nail clippers, but I don't want blood on my alpaca lace
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