If you're in town, answering nature's call isn't that big of a deal.
But say you're in the back end of 40 acres and have to hold your
position and bladder, what do you do? A couple of people (of both genders) I know hold it all day long, which is unhealthy and not an option for some.
Luckily for you, I spent a couple years on trail crew and experienced in
no-trace camping where the closest flush-toilet was eight hours away.
(We would even swap stories around the campfire of what was the best
natural alternative to toilet paper, and the most comfortable positions
to assume). With a couple supplies, and some knowledge, you can mark
your territory with ease.
1. Hand sanitizer
While on-site, I carry
this
on me at all times. The 2 oz. bottle is discreet, and can be easily
palmed in order to prevent breaking character. (Bonus: I get the larger
sizes because they're cheaper, and refill my little bottle).
2. Tissues
Even if you don't plan on needing to find a bush, sometimes the
latrines are out of toilet paper or someone is simply having an allergy
attack. Keep a handful in a pouch or a closeable pocket to prevent
wetting or soiling before you intend to wet or soil them.
Once you have an attempt at the trappings of civilization, familiarize yourself with
poison oak/
ivy/
sumac (depending on your region) and
stinging nettle. Even if you do not react to
urushiol,
you and your gear can spread the oil to others, which can be
dangerous. For example, every time that I'm exposed to it, I end up on
steroids because my eyes and airways swell shut. So be careful.
Now
to pick a tree or bush free of poison ivy/oak/sumac, stinging nettle,
and brambles that is a sensible distance away from bodies of water and
the trail. (Nobody wants to step in your mess, nor have the swimming
hole contaminated). With a sturdy stick, dig a "cathole" deep enough to
suit your needs. If it's #1, only a few inches is necessary. For #2,
six inches is ideal. Set your stick aside as you will use it to push
the soil back over your nightsoil.
Before you can assume the
position, ensure that all your pouches, weapons, clothing, and other
dangly bits are tucked away out of the line of fire. Since both of my
characters wear skirts/robes, I pull the bottommost hem (usually my
chemise) up around my waist and draw the excess to the front. In this
process my overskirt, pouches, and weapons are safely enveloped in my
skirts. When it comes to pants you might be better off just removing
your belt.
Get comfortable. I typically just squat in a wide
stance, ensuring that the topography won't funnel anything back onto my
shoes. The bulk of my skirts are sandwiched between my torso and my
thighs. If it's a big job, then you may wish to grab the backs of your
ankles or, if the land slopes steeply enough, you can put your hands
uphill behind you to support yourself.
When your deposit's
been made, use as little tissue possible. (Animals can dig it up and
eat it, making them sick). If you're feeling particularly adventurous
and recognize poison ivy/oak/sumac, experiment with plants. My days on
trail crew gave me an appreciation for young sage leaves, soft and
sweet-smelling. A second close is pine needles, taking care to use them
with the grain, not against. If you're careful, rounded river rocks
work well for #2. Just do not use sandstone, as one of my old crewmates
learned the hard way.
Sort out your clothing and squirt some
hand sanitizer. Take the stick you set aside before and use it to
scrape the displaced earth back into the hole. If you were unable to
dig very deep, place a big rock over it.
This sounds like a
lot of work, but it's mostly thinking about what you're doing when it
comes to both yourself and your surroundings. But if you happen to use a
she-wee, let me know what you think.
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