Witchy Woman

Another step in my weight loss was learning to love my body.  When starting out, find something that you like about yourself.  Even something that might seem silly like your hands, hair, anything.  Look at yourself in the mirror every day.  Most of us who are larger have developed the habit of only giving ourselves a cursory glance to ensure we are ready to go out in public.  Stop and admire your body.  Stop and move on before you begin to focus on the flaws, real or imagined.  Over time you will begin to like what you see more as you change.  Even at my heaviest I had strong, muscular legs with decent definition and focused on those.  Then I began to admire the same attributes in my arms.  Now I'm noticing that my tomach is shrinking, too, although it will never be as muscly as my limbs.  No one will ever love their entire body 100% of the time, but the point is to develop your working relationship into a more intimate one.

It is ok to like yourself.  Really, you have my permission.  Without devolving into a diatribe, let's just summarize with mainstream media and various industries make more money if you hate yourself.  Add a female gender to the mix, and you've got a wonderful barrel of monkeys of image issues.  Listen to the little voice in your head that says, "Damn, I look good."  (It's even quieter than the one pointing out the not so fine points of your physical being).  Don't worry that you'll come off as arrogant because what you are really developing is confidence, and there is a difference.  As a friend once put it, confidence is "I'm pretty good."  Arrogance is, "I'm better than everyone else."  So don't worry about your self-esteem being too strong until it crosses that line.

Sex counts as exercise!  Unfortunately, you aren't likely to find it listed on myfitnesspal, sparkpeople, or Fitocracy.  Even masturbation burns calories.  Obviously I haven't found any scientific studies to give a more definite idea of the math involved, but sexual activities that result in sweat, heavy breathing, and lethargy obviously counts as physical exercise.  If you're wanting numbers to plug into your calorie counter, then use your best judgment.

The mental battle is harder and has to be won before the physical will follow suit.  The more you like your body, the more confidence you will have which means you'll be perceived as being sexier, thus leading to more sex.  Make the Psycho Hamster Wheel of Doom work for you in a positive way.

Several of my friends have asked me how I managed to lose 30 pounds.  The quick answer is: I cheated.  I went from a sedentary lifestyle to working as a CNA on my feet all day with heavy lifting.  Now I actually have to work at it by learning how to cook, unable to go to the gym, and deal with stress eating and a junk food addiction.  One of my ex-girlfriends loves to tease me about when we were together because I'd habitually eat two cheddarwurst dogs and a pomegranate Rockstar energy drink for breakfast.  So I've got some major hurdles to overcome.

I started with little changes, and am working my way up.  If you have anxiety issues and an addictive personality, you will become too disheartened and overwhelmed by everything and fall off the bandwagon.  So don't look at my advice and go whole-hog, you want to make lifestyle changes.  If you want to lose weight quickly and then go back to the life you were living before, I can tell you now that it's not going to work.  You have to change your whole self.

Most "experts" will tell you to ask yourself why you want to lose weight.  Being the woman I am, I sure as hell knew my reasons.  I did not feel good in my own body.  I didn't like the way I felt, looked, or moved.  I would constantly refer to myself as a "hideous, fat cowbeast."  It started out as a joke about when I was emo and tried to laugh off my depression and body issues with exaggeration.  The problem was, was I had brainwashed myself into believing it.  I wanted to get into SCA heavy fighting, but knew that I couldn't physically do it until I lost some weight.  My body simply wouldn't be able to handle it.  I wanted to make later period garb, but didn't want to put forth the time, money, and effort until I was where I felt I would look good in the dresses.  So I have some very personal, practical reasons.  You need to assess your motivational factors to ensure that this is something to which you want to commit.

The very first thing I told myself is, "You are not on a diet."  Say it with me: "I am not on a diet."  Again.  "I am not on a diet!"  Doesn't that feel good?  There is so much stigma, marketing, and general insanity in American culture regarding the word "diet" that I refused to burden myself with that.  Hell, I had 75 extra pounds to lug around as it was along with the baggage that society associated with my weight.  Not to mention that diets are seen as something temporary or something that can be ruined by one piece of chocolate.

Don't set yourself up for failure and accept now that you will make bad choices.  You will make excuses for your bad choices.  Acknowledge your mistakes, figure out what to do next time, and stop before you slide even further.  Ok, so you had an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's.  Not the best choice of lunches in the world, but deal with it and move on.  No, it doesn't mean you should go ahead and eat out at the all-you-can-eat buffet.  Nor does it mean you can only have celery and carrot sticks for dinner (unless you like that, in which case you are either insane or a were-rabbit).  It means you should have a well-rounded dinner that's especially low in fat.  Don't beat yourself up, and don't keep backsliding just because of a mistake or three.

Drink water.  I know, I hate water and am very picky.  Yes, I know that living off of soda, juice, and tea is not good for me, but I'm addicted to the caffeine.  Water will help make you feel fuller, flush toxins and other crap from your body, yadda yadda yadda.  I will only drink purified water, preferably with tons of ice.  There are flavoured waters, packets to add to your water, and other products on the market.  The possible chemical content of those scares me, so I haven't looked at them yet.

Good fats are good.  I'm not an expert, but natural occuring fats are fine in moderation, such as olive oil, avocado, and nuts.  Just don't go deep-frying an avocado stuffed with walnuts.

Speaking of moderation: stop when you're full.  That's one of my biggest problems.  If it's yummy then I just want to om nom nom nom nom and some more nom.  It's so good I don't want to stop.  No, I don't have impulse control problems at all.  Luckily I'm also easily distracted.  For lunch today I threw some hummus, salsa, and lettuce on a tortilla and wandered off to play on the computer while drinking some water from my Brita pitcher that's kept in the fridge.  After checking my email, my stomach informed me I was still hungry.  Rinse and repeat.  Also, don't eat straight from the container, that's kind of a no-brainer.

Buy fruits and vegetables that you like.  I hate celery so much I used to have disturbing dreams where I'd go to the grocery store and all I would buy was celery.  I had some anxiety issues when I first lived on my own and had no idea how to grocery shop or cook.

More to follow as it percolates through my un-caffeinated brain.  By the way, quitting soda cold turkey sucks.

As I’ve said before, I prefer to cook my meals ahead of time. Since my diet is restricted to organics, joining in on a meal plan with campmates is out of the question. Not to mention I’m not a member of a household yet, although there is a group with which I usually camp. I have a small tripod burner, but no sturdy table to use in the kitchen so it’s unwise to use it in fields of sun-baked grass. People literally have scars, both emotional and physical, from my mundane cooking. (Don’t worry, the doctors say they will heal in time). Besides, who wants to waste perfectly good event time or cook in the heat? Not to mention the lack of fun in cooking for one. If you’re a chef, then I recommend looking elsewhere for advice.
I favour finger foods so I don’t have to do dishes in camp or when I get home. My typical breakfast consists of fruit scones and tea. Even though I’m not in on my camp’s kitchen, I steal a bowl of hot water in the mornings for washing up and the tea in exchange for chores. In addition to set up, tear down, and generally keeping things tidy I’ll get up early to make the hot water and coffee or help with dishes.
There is the ever popular fruit, jerky, and bread and cheese. I bake a loaf of French bread and wrap it in a napkin or towel so I can just tear off hunks as I go, and pre-slicing cheese is always a good idea. I eat largely vegetarian because it’s hard to find organic meats where I live, not to mention they can be fairly expensive. If you can, sausage is a fine accompaniment. Other snacks for the sweet-toothed are cookies, fruit pies, or extra scones.
There are lots of period meat pie recipes out there; however, I haven’t tried them. My pie crusts always suck, not matter the recipe, but I make a batch of the dough. Then I cook up some hamburger and vegetables, fill up bits of the dough so that the finished product is shaped like a calzone that fits comfortably in the hand, and bake it at 350°F until browned, about 20-25 minutes. Cabbage, carrots, mushrooms, and onions are good vegetables to use, basically making a stew without the stew. While spices were expensive and hard to come by, herbs were both grown and wildcrafted for a variety of uses. That being said, I still use black pepper and a dash of salt. Basil, fennel, garlic, marjoram, oregano, parsley, rosemary, sage, and thyme are good choices with varying degrees of authenticity.
My cooler is a Goodwill find, and therefore is a little battered but perfectly serviceable. The food needs to at least stay cool, even though it’s already been cooked and might not be reheated. I pack meals in either individual hippyware (it’s like Tupperware, but in a previous life was plastic food containers) or tinfoil, which can also be reused at home for scrubbing in lieu of steel wool. I square and hem cloth scraps for napkins and hankies, depending on the size. If I’m busy, I just grab a pie or a snack and use a napkin as both a plate and to protect my garb since tables tend to be rare commodities.
Here are some recipes for sweet baked goods from various sources.

Bannocks
2 cups hot milk 1 ½ cups instant oatmeal 1 egg
½ tsp. baking soda 1 tbsp. grated orange peel 1 tbsp. chopped almonds
In a large bowl, pour the milk over the oatmeal; let it sit for 10 minutes. Beat in the egg, baking soda, orange peel and almonds. Consistency should be like a thick pancake batter. If the batter is too thin, add more oatmeal; if too thick, add a little milk. Heat griddle over a moderate flame, grease. Pour the batter onto the griddle; cook until bubbles form. Flip and cook the other side. Best served with butter and honey. Yields: 12 (2 inch) bannocks

Scones, Lemon-Oat
1/3 cup margarine or butter 1 ¼ cups all-purpose flour 1/2 cup quick-cooking oats
3 tablespoons sugar 2 ½ teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons grated lemon peel 1/2 teaspoon salt
1 egg, beaten ½ cup chopped almonds, toasted
4-6 tbsp. half-and-half 1 egg, beaten
Preheat the oven to 400ºF. Cut margarine into flour, oats, sugar, baking powder, lemon peel and salt with pastry blender in medium bowl until mixture resembles fine crumbs. Stir in 1 egg, the almonds and just enough half-and-half so dough leaves side of bowl.
Turn dough onto lightly floured surface; gently roll in flour to coat. Knead lightly 10 times. Roll or pat 1/2 inch thick. Cut with floured 2-inch round cutter or cut into diamond shapes with sharp knife. Place on ungreased cookie sheet. Brush 1 egg over dough.
Bake 10 to 12 minutes or until golden brown. Immediately remove from cookie sheet. Cool on wire rack. Split scones; spread with margarine and serve with strawberry preserves if desired.

Scones, Cranberry Cream
2 cups flour 1/3 cup sugar 1 tbsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt ½ cup cranberries 1 ¼ cup heavy cream
1 tsp. orange zest
Preheat the oven to 425°F. Mix the dry ingredients in a large bowl. With a large spatula, stir in the cranberries, cream, and orange zest. Gather the dough into a ball and knead it against the bottoms and the sides of the bowl 5-10 times. Transfer to a lightly floured surface, and pat the dough into a circle with a thickness of approximately 3/4 inch. Cut the dough into 8-12 inch wedges and place 1/2 inch apart on an ungreased baking sheet. Brush the tops with 2 to 3 tsp. of cream and sprinkle tops with cinnamon and sugar mixture (optional). Bake on the center oven rack for 12 to 15 minutes.

I made this for Beltane, along with a quiche, but this was the better of the two.

A package of Dr. Oetker’s White Cake Mix with an applesauce cup, some lemon juice, and some cinnamon thrown in. Since I didn’t replace the oil with the applesauce (never done it before and was afraid to try), I added a bit more flour to compensate.

I baked it in two layers. I made the cream cheese frosting from a recipe inside the Organic Valley package, it involved maple syrup (I was lucky enough to have the real thing on hand) and I tossed in some more lemon juice. Frosted the bottom layer with it and stuck sliced strawberries all over. Repeated with the top layer.

I ran up to the Portland area to meet with a couple of Ravelers and shared it (seriously, an entire cake? I may be fluffy, but not that fluffy). There wasn't any left, and now they're threatening to keep me locked up in a kitchen. Evidently the trick is to let it sit overnight and then bounce it around in a car for about an hour.

I am not big on ritual as of late. Needing more simplicity in my life, I have been leaning towards hedge-witchery. I am wearing bright red, baked a bread, and plan on lots of knitting this evening.

Once it gets dark, I will light a candle that I will keep going all night (the trick is to put it in the bathtub or sink) and perhaps do some divination, most likely Tarot.

"In a study released by the International Journal of Biological Sciences, analyzing the effects of genetically modified foods on mammalian health, researchers found that agricultural giant Monsanto's GM corn is linked to organ damage in rats.
According to the study, which was summarized by Adam Shake at Twilight Earth, "Three varieties of Monsanto's GM corn - Mon 863, insecticide-producing Mon 810, and Roundup® herbicide-absorbing NK 603 - were approved for consumption by US, European and several other national food safety authorities."
Monsanto gathered its own crude statistical data after conducting a 90-day study, even though chronic problems can rarely be found after 90 days, and concluded that the corn was safe for consumption. The stamp of approval may have been premature, however."

That's right. Corn that is genetically modified damages kidneys and livers in rats. The conclusion of the study is:

"However, in the three GM maize varieties that formed the basis of this investigation, new side effects linked to the consumption of these cereals were revealed, which were sex- and often dose-dependent. Effects were mostly concentrated in kidney and liver function, the two major diet detoxification organs, but in detail differed with each GM type. In addition, some effects on heart, adrenal, spleen and blood cells were also frequently noted...
We therefore conclude that our data strongly suggests that these GM maize varieties induce a state of hepatorenal toxicity. This can be due to the new pesticides (herbicide or insecticide) present specifically in each type of GM maize, although unintended metabolic effects due to the mutagenic properties of the GM transformation process cannot be excluded [42]. All three GM maize varieties contain a distinctly different pesticide residue associated with their particular GM event (glyphosate and AMPA in NK 603, modified Cry1Ab in MON 810, modified Cry3Bb1 in MON 863). These substances have never before been an integral part of the human or animal diet and therefore their health consequences for those who consume them, especially over long time periods are currently unknown."

They are not entirely certain whether it's all because of the insecticides and herbicides used, the mutations of the corn itself, or some combination of both. Oh joy. And by the way, Monsanto's corn is used in Dorito's, among many others.
At least the company's response was somewhat entertaining:
"the research is "based on faulty analytical methods and reasoning and do not call into question the safety findings for these products.""
In other words, "We don't like what you found, so we question your Science!" Not to mention that they responded immediately with denial, rather than, "Oh no, can this be? We shall research this right away." Kinda makes you wonder what they already knew to try and make this go away so quickly?
But theirs was quite classy, as well as essentially being a bitchslap.

Antibiotic resistant fecal bacteria is found in nearly half of all soda fountains.
Then there's this lovely ad for KFC in Australia. Blacks like fried chicken, har, har, har! *Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink.* Say no more, say no more.

"California scientists hope studying 180 black mussels pried from algae-covered rocks in San Francisco Bay will provide clues into how many drugs and chemicals are polluting waters across the nation."

Note "how many," not "if." How many? They're not just talking about oil spills and other standard pollutants, they mean like birth control and hand sanitizers. And it's not just California, it's every coast in America. These chemicals are so pervasive that they have even been found in breast milk, for crying out loud. Unfortunately, I am on city water. I do use a filter, but am not deluded that it does anything other than remove the most common chemicals.

I firmly hold that it is deplorable that the government has to certify our food as organic because we cannot trust the companies that grow our food to be honest with us. Case in point, went to a local, somewhat questionable meat market and the following conversation took place.

"Hi, I'm looking for organic meat, what do you have?"
"Oh, you mean free range?"
"Um, no. Organic."
Shrugs dismissively. "There's no difference, it's all a marketing ploy. Where've you been buying yours?"
"Insert name of another local, reputable meat market that only carries local, organic meats."
"Yeah, we're really the same thing."

*Facepalm* First of all, the clerk obviously had no idea of what he was talking about, or was hoping to make a sale by outright lying. Then tries to convince a potential customer that they carry the same products as a completely different store, despite being ignorant of organics. Yes, organic meat usually does equal free range. But free range does not equal organic. (Someone must have been sick that day in math class).

Guess where I am never shopping again?