Tips on Surviving Karoake in a Redneck Bar...

7:08 PM Posted In , , , , Edit This 2 Comments »
  • Copious amounts of alcohol.
  • Hide your non-Christian religious symbol behind the collar of your shirt.
  • If in a non-heteronormative/non-traditional relationship, try to keep your hands to yourself a little. Just a little self-restraint.
  • Don't perform any magick/energy work. Just because they're Muggles doesn't necessarily mean that they're morons.
  • When the locals get up to sing such anti-feminist standards, such as "Stand by Your Man," try not to shout back things like "Doormat!" or "Barefoot and pregnant!" and other such sarcastic feminist responses.
  • Try not to discuss non-Christian theology/philosophy so loudly that the next table over can clearly hear your conversation.
  • If you do sing karoake (hey, a couple shots of tequila is the great equalizer), try to sing songs that will help you blend in a little. "Rebel Yell" is perfectly suitable, "The Mummer's Dance" not so much.

Don't ask how I know this.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

All of these can be condensed, you know, into one tip. "Find the nerd bar instead."

J

SLiver of Jade said...

And there's a business venture should I ever take the plunge into self-employed land.