Happy Beltane!

9:58 AM Posted In , , , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
Just a few tips on how to have a safe and sane Beltane.
Don't dance too close to the bonfire when naked.
If you do jump the fire, do so naked. Imagine all those dangling sleeves and flowing robes over a huge balefire. Despite your childhood fantasies, you do not really want to be the Human Torch.
When you find a cozy bush with your partner, make sure that it is thorn-free and not poison oak.
It is bad form to relieve yourself on the fire.
And please do not inflict any of the following on your fellow revelers:

13. Guy: "That ritual gown is skin-tight baby... How do you get into it?" Gal: "Well... you can start off by getting me a chalice of mead."
12. "Hey-hey, is that a magick mirror in your pocket - because I can see myself in your pants."
11. "If I said you had the body of a Goddess - would you hold it against me?"
10. "Hey babe, what's your sign? What's it's ascendant? What's your Moon...?" (*caresses your butt*)
9. "Read any good Llewellyn Books lately?"
8. "Would you like to come over to my place and get busy kickin' wytchy-boots?"
7. "Hey beautiful, your feet must be tired... because you've been spiral dancing in my mind all night long."
6. "Haven't I seen you in another life before?"
5. "Wow... You have the most beautiful third eye I've ever seen."
4. "So... do you do The Great Rite here often?" or "So... ya wanna jump the bale-fire together?" *wiggle eyebrows*
3. "What's a georgous Nymph-Goddess like you, doing in a Circle like this?"
2. "Yes, I'm handfasted, but that's not a "legal" marriage.... but we *could* go out in the forrest for a Greenwood Marriage..." *wink*
And the TOP BELTANE PICK-UP LINE IS......... *Drumroll please*
1. "Is that a Maypole in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

0 comments: